A Dark Journey

Yesterday was our evaluations, and many things came out of this. First the good news. I passed with flying colors. I ran my 5 miles much better than my last evaluation and I won both of my spars with out a penalty. My physical evaluation went well. Physically fit and the Yellow didn’t comment on my attitude or lack of one. I don’t think things have changed at all but maybe I am just getting better at hiding it. Who knows.

Apparently Ami and Lon have been going at it like bunny rabbits for a lot longer than I have known. In Ami’s evaluation they told her she was pregnant. It was a major shock to Ami but Lon light up like one of those orbs the Aes Sedai can make. They have a big decision to make. And Ami asked my advice, what could I tell her. I am not mother material much less at this age. But I told her that she couldn’t be a good Tower Guard or Warder with a baby on her hip or a husband to think about.

Ami told me today that she was leaving, and Lon had proposed, he was going to leave the yards too. So Thad and I will be the only two in our room for a while. Lon and Ami Abbot with a little baby in tow. How nice. I wish them the best but it is definitely not something I wish for myself. It makes me glad that nothing happened like that with me. I need to be a lot more careful in the future. I think this made a lot of the girls here aware of their own natures as well as the boys. It brings to light what could be and what can be. I wonder how many girls will be pushing the boys away and how many will be pulling them closer. Only time will tell I guess.

In about a week I should have the final paper work on my last evaluation, not that I’m worried but it’ll be better than the I think I did well, to actually know will be great.

Tomorrow is the beginning of physical evaluations. These are held annually for everyone in the Yards. It is one day where all the trainees and the Tower Guards are doing generally the same thing. If the Guards aren’t on watch then they are being evaluated until it is time for them to go on their watch.

The evaluation consists of a few things. First and foremost is your endurance. You basically are set to running X amount of miles based on your level of training with in the Yards. New Trainees run one mile, the older trainees 5 miles and the Tower Guards run 10 miles. The only ones who get a chance to opt out of this are the Warders, but many join just because they can and it helps keep them in shape too. It’s a timed event and the faster you run it the better your overall score is.

We will also be evaluated in combat. Each of spars two people, one below and one above us, new trainees being the exception they spar someone their level and someone above them. The spar is a round with three hits to the body where head strikes are counted against you. It’s about control and of course how good you are.

The last thing you are evaluated on is your well being, this is a medical exam for the most part. A Yellow Aes Sedai or an aspiring yellow look you over to insure you are healthy. Some people are put on diets and others are asked to come in for more evaluations. This is where I got caught in the whole you need to see a Yellow weakly, apparently they figure your attitude into this exam as well. I don’t regret it, but it’s not something that I think is necessary, but I don’t run the show so it doesn’t matter really what I think. This will be my last evaluation so I need to pass everything, as it will be a determent if I do not. I’m going to go practice with Thad for a while, we both need to make sure we are ready.

The past days have been nothing but class after class after class with very little in between time. For the past eight days since I last wrote I have been sitting in one of three classes – strategy and tactics, shadows pawn and bonding. The last is a class you are registered for by the Master of Trainees when you are near to completing your studying in the Yards. This means that I am very near the end of my Trainee days.

I had shadow spawn class first thing in the morning, then catch a quick breakfast. The off to Strategy and Tactics before a quick lunch. Then off to a lesson in bonding before I could begin any physical routines. It’s probably my own fault, I did sign up for strategy and tactics. The other classes were assigned to me. Was just the timing I guess.

In the shadow spawn class we went over the basics of the Blight and what we could encounter in the Borderlands from flora to fauna and all the dangers of the Blight. It was funny to hear of Trollocs and Fades from someone who had seen them. But there were a few borderlanders in the group who only nodded as the teacher spoke. One day I’ll get to see them, but I hope not too soon.

Strategy and Tactics has been a fun class. We were told to study The Art of War. I’ve been studying that since I have been able to read. It is the one and only book that I will probably own. I am transcribing the book as my last project for Yveva Sedai. But the teacher went through the first few chapters and explained what the author meant and how they might be applied in our situations. And then it came time to put our lessons to work. We played Capture the Flag. It was all in all a fun day and my team won, but only barely, there was only one person left on each side and we won only because the boy who was left was faster than their girl. The instructor took notes on the whole thing and we analyzed everything in the following class. We got to see what we all did and where we went wrong. It was eye opening to say the least.

The bonding class was boring. It was taught by several people, warders and Aes Sedai alike. Basically it was a lesson in dealing with people and particularly the rules behind being a Warder. These were of course general rules, and also the benefits of being a Warder. Everyone oohed and ahhed at the fan cloak and cheered for the longer than normal life. But all in all it was a boring class. But it is a precursor to my graduation. I am glad that I took it just for that fact alone.

I have a lot of practicing to catch up on, so off I go to spend some time taking care of that.

Thad had been hanging around me lately. He’s gone to the armory with me while I had my chores to finish, he’s gone with me to the creek while I practiced balancing on the barrels. He needed to do that too and I was more than glad to help him. But it seems a little bit odd.

The evening Thad confided in me. I think that’s why he’s been hanging around a lot, to see if I would judge him. He thinks he likes boys, and not girls which is why the kiss was uncomfortable at best. I smiled and nodded and then moved the conversation on to something else. It’s not like it changes anything it just explains whats been up with him. So I will let him stick with me, besides these past few days I’ve seen him improve a lot. He’s gone from silly boy to growing boy. He’s learning, I think I like this teaching thing.

When we got back yesterday I went to see Master Rygel. He was in his office and he looked me up and down and said he’d want to see me after he gets a report from Eldon. Go figure. But he also said that if the report was good then I could forgo my punishment in the armory in three days. Meaning I had to go yesterday, today and tomorrow. Eldon saw Master Rygel later that evening and he told me that Master Rygel had let me slip out on my punishment because of good behavior. Which is all right with me. And I didn’t have to go back to see him either.

Tari Sedai was happy to see me and happy that I was able to put her teachings to good use. Apparently Master Eldon had gone to her first and reported what had happened. My edible plants and my first aid to Ami and Lon. She was ecstatic. It was hard to imagine an Aes Sedai so gleeful. We talked for a few minutes before I had to leave to find Yveva Sedai.

I handed her my journal and all was well, she was impressed at my nearly daily logging while I was away. She only nodded at the entries and made a few corrections on them and I was sent on my way. Needless to say I had to go to the armory and polish the gems already there. It wasn’t a bad day all in all. I was able to get a little bit of practice in as well. Something we hadn’t gotten to do while we were away.

Tomorrow mid afternoon we should be back home, back to our own beds and back to our training, and back to my punishment. It will be good to get back to normal. Thad has been tagging next to me for the past two days. Not annoyingly thankfully. He’s not talking just paying closer attention to what I’m doing, and how I’m doing it. I think he’s trying to learn from me. But he’s not being a little lost puppy like some new trainees do when they start following you around.

Nothing overly eventful has happened. I am just eager to get back home. I really do want to graduate and I hope that this is one step closer to it. Though I am not looking forward to cleaning the armory for the billionth time. I’m sure someone else has been keeping it dust free. Someone is always keeping it clean. It rarely gets dirty or dusty and you are almost always polishing the polish from the last person who had the chore. I wonder if cleaning them is wearing the weapons down any. It would be something to look at I’d guess.

When I get back home I assume I’m going to have to see Master Rygel, Tarishma Sedai and Yveva Sedai to insure that they are satisfied with whatever they need. I’m suppose to see them weekly and I’ve not been here to do so. So I will present myself to them before they can call on me. I hope that will show them I really do want to graduate and that neither of their evaluations will stop me from it. The only one I’m worried about really is Master Rygel’s. He will be first on my list to see.

We had a long few days. Master Eldon has been pushing us hard. We’ve been nearly at a run for most of the past few days. Tar Valon is a few days away, we are one day ahead of schedule thanks to the fast pace. I’ve not had proper time to catch any meat so we’ve been living off of what rations we brought. But that really hasn’t stopped Ami and Lon from sneaking off together. But what is most funny is that Ami and Lon didn’t watch where they had been rolling around last night, and they woke up all itchy. They had been having sex in a patch of poison ivy. Master Eldon almost let them suffer the rest of the way home, but he asked me if I had anything for them. He hadn’t thought about bringing that type of first aid. He knew I carried a lot with me on general purposes. I did and and I didn’t. I gave them aloe for the itching and something for the pain, but it wouldn’t help for long and they’d be applying the aloe a lot. And they did, Master Eldon was forced to stop too often and he made sure that Ami and Lon paid for slowing us down.

Thad had a giggle about it when we stopped, he poked fun at them, and they still wandered of to be alone. This time though I think there were more careful. Thad sat next to me by my fire. I shared my warm tea I made with him. He was thankful. We talked a little bit about the kiss and how he felt. I was right he didn’t really want to kiss me. I think he’s jealous of Lon and wanted what he had, but he didn’t say so out right. Maybe he likes Ami too. We didn’t talk much but at least the tension between us was gone.

Today we spend the day watching the Andorian army training. It was a lot different than the way we train. They train as a group doing everything together in unison and timed. If one person got out of line they started all over again. We had to be watching one that were not green because they were flawless. Master Eldon said they trained as a unit to be a unit and to fight together always. It’s different from our training. We train to protect one for the most part. Some of us choose to stay as Tower Guards, but it is the Tower we protect then. We are not a full scale army, there is an army just for that, we are the Towers last defense and the most highly trained. We spend our time honing our individual skills in order to improve the whole.

They had calvary as well. We do not. It was interesting watching the horses and the mock combat on them. We don’t train on horses unless we desire to. I did not desire that. I did learn to ride a horse, but not in combat. One day I’ll have a horse too, but right now I can’t afford to feed or house it.

We didn’t have a lot of time to converse today but it seemed that Thad was avoiding me. I tried to talk to him before he went to bed but he fell asleep before I got back from dinner. I think he was faking it but I won’t press the issue. If he wanted to talk about it I guess he would. For now I’ll let him be. Maybe on the walk home we can talk. Sleep time for the last time for a few days in a real bed. I only wish that we could stay a little longer.

It felt so good to sleep in a warm bed. I am looking for to lights out again tonight. Today we spent a good share of our day going from one place to another replenishing our supplies. Master Eldon says we will be watching the Andorian army tomorrow and then we will be leaving the following morning. Our stay here hasn’t been nearly as long as he had hoped. I think a lot of it has to do with how Ami and Lon cannot take their hands off of one another. He doesn’t want to be responsible for their actions any longer.

I’ve noticed Thad a lot more lately, he’s seems to always be there now, maybe it’s because Lon is always so busy and he wants a friend. I don’t think I’m the person he should be cozying up to for that. He’s a good kid and all but that’s what he is a kid. He’s got at least one more year before he’s allowed to graduate. 17 is the earliest they let you out of here. He’s only sixteen but he has been here as long as I have, so it makes me wonder if I could have started earlier too. Not that I want to spend three years training instead of two, but maybe it would have been simpler. Who knows. But is really odd is that I think Thad is forcing himself to be interested in me. He kissed me earlier and then ran up to our room to bed. By the time I got up here he was already asleep. He didn’t feel comfortable doing it, maybe it was my reaction but he didn’t feel like he wanted to do it. It was a nice kiss but it wasn’t quite right. I really don’t know what is up with Thad. Hopefully he’ll figure it out.

Yesterday we made it into the city. Eldon insisted we try one night on the streets like so many of the less fortunate. This was a lot more difficult than it sounds. In the wilderness just camping anywhere is okay. But in the city, you get pushed off by the city patrols and the like. So needless to say we all got a little bit cranky as the night waned on and morning came. None of us slept much, but it was an interesting adventure. I was only able to eat some cheese and bread as all the other rations had been eaten before coming to the city, in hopes of a room for the night, but I had been wrong, but that is okay. One night with out protein is fine, tonight we are in an inn. It’s not the greatest inn in the city but it’s warm and the beds are softer than the ground. But most importantly is the water is hot.

I took a long hot bath when we were first allowed to come into the rooms Master Eldon had rented. He said to make our selves at home, we’d be here a few days, so that’s exactly what I did. That and I donned comfortable clothes. I was right in bringing them.

The five us had dinner in the common room and many of the other patrons were singing and dancing, at least there was no fighting in this inn. Ami and Lon danced the night away. Thad looked weary of everything and he flinched whenever anyone moved past him. He must have had some aweful inn memories. Ami and Lon sneaked upstairs to do only the creator knew, so I bunked with Thad instead. He seemed a bit off since they’d moved off into their own space. It’s not like we didn’t share a room any other time. So I’m sure that in particular wasn’t making him uncomfortable. He finally drifted off to sleep and I lit my candle to write here. I’m thankful that Ami isn’t here with me, she’d be talking my ear off right now. I’m off to sleep in my warm bed.