June 29th, 2009
Categories: Family, Me | No Comments »
I have so much to do in 2.5 days that it’s not even funny. The biggest and most important thing to get done before Tuesday is get together all the important paperwork and software to take to Shea’s folks house just in case of a hurricane while we are gone. Everything but the $3000 software I use on a daily basis for my freelancing I can replace computers included. But insurance doesn’t cover that cost and it is very vital to my business that I have these pieces of software.
We will also take up all our signed Wheel of Time books as they are not irreplaceable. Insurance papers, birth certificates, girls social security cards all have to go up there just in case the house is gone when we come back.
I also have to get my dog ready by Tuesday to go to Shea’s folks house, but in order to do that I have to find a new hiding place for the new toys and things the girls have for the trip up. Not to mention a safe place to put the dvd player for the van for the trip – and all the baby things on top of the pen like diapers wipes and things. Diamond’s pen doesn’t move, it’s a good place to put things that the girls and the dog can’t get lol. So it’s extra storage space and keeps our door from slamming into the wall of our bedroom.
I have gotten the office, and the hall cleaned, vacuumed and even used a deterizer on the carpet so we come home to less of a dog smelling house. I will finish our bedroom, then work on the living room and finally the kitchen. I am not touching the girls rooms, Kathleen’s I should but I hate cleaning up all the toys on the floor, we’ll see. Samantha’s room doesn’t really need cleaning per say just picking up the mess they’ve made in there.
And shea’s home sick and sleeping so making noise isn’t really a good thing right now. I have to go get his Rx so he hopefully can go to work tomorrow. And I’m not in the mood to do anything bad news can sure take the life out of anyone. Ah well back to the trenches I guess.
June 29th, 2009
Categories: Family, Me | 1 Comment »
One hell of a day. My Dad just called me to tell my his mom has passed away – died of cancer. While not surprising its still very sad and very heart wrenching. We were close with Grandma B in Denver, we even lived with her for 6 months before moving to New York.
Her 80th birthday party was going to be July 18. She didn’t get to see 80. I made her a memory book of our family, now she won’t get to see it. She won’t get to see my girls.
My parents are flying to Colorado soon, and will be back in time or just after we get to my parents house for vacation. It’s a hell of a way to start vacation for my mom and dad. I feel so bad for my Dad. None of us have seen Grandma B since my brother’s wedding. And I can’t even say how long that has been.
Today is a very sad day.
June 26th, 2009
Categories: Family, Me, The Kids | 1 Comment »
I’m a worry wart to begin with. I worry about everything and I do mean everything. But since we’ve had the girls my worrying extends to them and more now. And I don’t mean the typical worrying necessarily either. I worry they aren’t developing like they should or worrying about them when they don’t feel well.
We are going on vacation in a few days. And I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat bold upright because my mind wandered to a hazardous what if while we are on vacation. Last night I saw my car go off the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, as I assume that is the bridge we will be going over when we go to Shea’s son house on the way home. Talk about a waking moment that has your heart pounding. I then lay in bed running through scenarios of how I’d get the girls out of that type situation. It wasn’t a good thought for sleeping but I did manage to put it of my head knowing fully well that it is a very slim chance we’d go over the bridge. I most definitely won’t be driving them. I hate bridges and I do not like driving over short ones over any expanse of water. We have several around here that are high rise bridges over the rivers and such and I do very well not to panic while I drive over them.
That is a typical nightmare of mine. I’ve turned my back while my daughter and I were swimming in my aunt pool and she drowns. I have this particular nightmare in our own kiddy pool and the bathtub, I can’t imagine how a 3 foot deep pool of water is going to make me feel. Though on the plus note my daughter is very good in the water and I think she could be swimming by now if we had enough water to teach her in. The baby on the other hand probably won’t go in the water at all.
But the biggest fear I have about the trip is the girls getting lost while we are in a rest area. We will stop alot because of me and the girls to get them some exercise as it’s a long trip. I have an elaborate plan to keep my girls safe. I have a leash for the girls. We already had one for when Kathleen was little and Samantha was still in the reverse car seat. But we’ve not used it since. These leashes are multipurpose and not so much meant as a leash but they are a backpack that has a leash for a tail (which comes off). I plan on putting a laminated card inside of the zipper of their backpacks with their name, our names, phone numbers and any relative information just in case they get lost. I plan to put it the backpack on each time we get out of the car. Shea can fuss at me all he wants but this is the only thing that is going to make me feel safe. I also made Shea take good close ups of the girls so I could take with us to show people if they happen to get away from us. This is my biggest fear about the trip. And I’ve done the only things I can think of that will keep me from having nightmares.
Now I know this is just paranoia and they will more than likely be fine. I will not let them out of my sight and I will not let them get hurt. However it only takes an instant and they are gone. So I make precautions and plans to help ease me through this difficult nightmare. We will have fun and the girls love the backpacks so it’s not going to be a chore to get them to put it on. At least my mind will be at ease.
Heard the line on Food Nework’s Next Star, and it applies here. I’m done. After DM8 I’m done with DM in any helping capacity except some minor things I’m working with now. Cairhein house lead and Warders Master at Arms, and I have a feeling that I will just have to leave completely in order to remove the temptation to help.
I tire of so much bull shit. I don’t want to get into it cause all it’s going to do is server to piss me off so close to my vacation and I don’t want to do that. But I’m tired of it, just plain and simple tired of it.
June 3rd, 2009
Categories: Me, The Kids | 1 Comment »
I had an argument with my hubby over trip details for July. It upset me quite a bit, enough that I just wanted to be left alone and wanted to cry. And I tried. First shutting the bathroom door behind me but I has been in the middle of something before the argument so I got out and finished what I’d started.
But then I went into the dark kitchen to be alone, which as usual didn’t work – the girls followed me into the kitchen. They proceeded to tell me it was okay, gave me hugs and kisses and tried to cheer me up with stickers on my nose. It’s hard to stay mad when you are being doted on by your babies.
I love my girls and despite the number of times they upset me, they are the most wonderful thing in my life. I love my family and I love that we have the girls to make life even more enjoyable.
I wouldn’t change it for the world, well except I’d like to have more money and a clean house lol, but I wouldn’t change my life for anything.
June 1st, 2009
Categories: General | 1 Comment »
Summer Time and my cooling bill is going to go WAY up. I feel it’s going to be a hot one and I have been meaning to apply for budget billing for our power. A fixed payment instead of paying a fluxuating bill each month. It means I’ll be paying more in the winter, but I just got off the phone with the power company and it’s actually less than what I had expected and less than what I had actually calculated, it actually still fits in my electrical budget. Granted it means my water and gas no longer as the winter comfort zone, but it means I won’t be going WAY out of budget in the summer. We already had a 200+ month and it’s not even officially summer yet.
On a general note, today is the first official day of hurricane season. Lets pray that we don’t get any hurricanes until August that come into the gulf, I really need my vacation home, even if I am not looking forward to the drive.
May 13th, 2009
Categories: Me, The Kids | No Comments »
I’ve been attempting to diet for the past few weeks. I wanted to try to get on the wii for at least 30 mins a day on wii fit, but I’ve done that twice in the past few weeks. I swore of soda, but have had some in the past few days. Today’s excuse was lack of sleep and I needed the caffeine. Which is hardly doing anything but it was keeping me awake last night.
I had ice-cream too. But that’s easy to counter with just having good stuff for the rest of my meals.
But I’m so tired right now. I really need a nap but that probably won’t happen any time soon. Sammi had a really bad night, woke up around 11:30 screaming and crying and stayed in that state no matter what I tried until 1am. Kathleen was awake most of that time too, but she was at least in her room watching tv. I only had to get on to her a little bit. We went to be around 9ish I could have slept till 11:30ish but the caffeine and the laptop reformat was on my mind. I hate going to bed with an unfinished project on my mind. But the laptop is now up to 100% and it’s NOT slow. So I must have had a virus or something on it that was jacking all my processor speed. It seems to be fine now.
May 11th, 2009
Categories: Family, Me | 1 Comment »
I can’t say that I had an awesome Mother’s Day or even an eventful one. But it was probably one of the best I’ve had these last few years, mostly because my big girl actually took part in the little event Daddy put together.
Daddy let me sleep in, but Kitkat woke up early enough that he took her aside and to the computer and they sat down and made me an e-card. But this wasn’t the best part!
Kathleen came into our room and woke me up. “Mommy it’s Happy Mother’s Day! Come see the polar bear hug.” Granted I had no idea what she wanted me to see and she tried to show me but Daddy had already sent it to me via email. So we sat down at my computer and we watched the little animated bear give big hugs. It was cute. Shea told me that he let Kitkat type her own name (he had to show her of course but she did the pressing of buttons.)
I got three e-cards. It was a good day. I was tickled that she woke me up the way she did. It did make my morning.
I have been hesitant over the past year or so to pick up learning a framework of any sorts, it kinda feels like cheating. But I picked up 960 grid system a while ago and I do like it, it takes some of the guess work out of designing. But I don’t use it consistently. Then I picked up jQuery and fell absolutely in love with it. It makes life so much easier and I don’t have to wrote bunches of javascript and make sure it’s cross broswer computable for the most part.
So last week I got a big protion of a new project information and it looked like I was going to be a doing alot of coding. My biggest concern is paypal integration and security of the application. I started looking around. While there might still be issues I decided to pick up cakePHP. I’ve been using it for three days or so and in that time I’ve decided to rewrite my Grocery List Meal Plan Application again using it. I’ve worked on that particular app for two days. And most of that was trying to figure out how to do a few things that were giving me problems. I have added functionality and areas I hadn’t incorporated into my initial design in a matter of hours instead of days. Talk about cutting down my development time. Grated it take two days to get the probelms of what I have done now resolved but that’s because I’m still learning and it’s to be expected. I have one more hurdle to nip in the bud and I think the rest will be smooth sailing because at that point all things will be building on what I just learned.
I think it’s going real well. I am really enjoying it. After the functionality is done I’ll work on theming the application and possibly routing but for now I’m leaving it all as it is. Here’s to learning something new!
April 22nd, 2009
Categories: Me | No Comments »
March 29th I got sick with a real stomach bug, well Shea and I did we thing Sammi had it before us and we just got it bad. Anyway, It was bad the following Monday enough Shea didn’t go to work. And ever since them I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach.
Lactose intolerant? maybe it seems to be dairy that sets it off.
Morning Sickness? It’s possible but not likely. I was on an antibiotic and I forgot that it made the pill ineffective or less effective. But I’ve taken like 5 tests all negative and I got AF on schedule.
Ulcer? possible, I’ve been stressing over finances and the possibility of being pregnant and stressing over stressing lol.
Anything else? sure.
But what happened when I called to make an appointment last week. The doctor put me on some pill that helps with the nausea with out any indication of what’s wrong. I don’t like that. I’m going to call the doctor tomorrow and set up an appointment. I want to know what’s going on. I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all. The thing is it acts very similar to my pregnancy with Kathleen. Sick first thing in the morning, dairy upsetting me, food or enough rest help to calm it down. So this pushes everything else into the worry about being pregnant. *sighs* So I dunno what to do go to the doctor and see what he says. I’ll have to write down everything I know so I don’t forget about it when I talk to the doctor.
I just want to know what’s going on.
